Deep Dark Pit
by XxXtheCelestialDragonXxX
Summary: She was stuck in a dark hole, she never asked for help, no one pulled her out when they still could, all she did was keep people from falling in the same hole. Lucy is feeling horrible, but she's keeping all these bad feelings inside of her chest. Lucy's on a downward spiral, but no one can see it. (would anyone like an alternate ending, something sadder?)


**Disclaimer: I don't own FT **

**XxXxXxXx**

_ "Sometimes the people, who act the happiest, are the saddest"_

XxXxXxXxXx

In the city of Magnolia, there stands a powerful guild of the name Fairy Tail. Inside the famous guild hall it's as loud as ever with brawls and drinks going around. At the bar there sits one of the few members who hardly ever gets into a fight, Lucy Heartfillia, talking to the beautiful bartender Mirajane.

"How did your last mission go Lucy?" The white haired woman kindly asked as she cleaned one of the many glass cups, "Fine I guess" she said with a bright smile on her face.

Lucy however hasn't been feeling that great to be honest, she's been feeling sadder, lonelier, weaker, but she knows not to bring it up, she's tired of bringing the attention to herself especially when she feels so weak.

She sighed feeling even more tired with all these thoughts back into her mind, "I'm gonna go home Mira, I'm still kind of tired from the mission" "Why are you tired? Natsu did all the work!" Chirped a little annoying blue cat, in Lucy's opinion, named Happy. However with the way Lucy's been feeling lately she just feels the cat's joke hit her hard in the chest, "yeah whatever Happy, see you both later" she gave them another smile before walking out of the guild hall.

Happy thanked his lucky stars that he survived that and flew away, but Mirajane felt something was off, _"I'll have to keep my eye on that girl for now" _ she thought to herself before continuing her cleaning.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

Lucy sat in her bedroom at her desk with her window locked and her curtain closed. One could hear the soft sounds of sniffling throughout the darkened apartment on Strawberry Street. She was writing yet another letter to her mother.

_Dear Mama, I don't want to feel this way anymore, I know since I last wrote to you it's been a while but I've gotten so much worse since then. I feel so lonely and weak, just so useless. I know that my nakama at the guild would never see me that way, but everyone on the outside see me as the weak one holding them back. Ever since papa died I can't help but just feel so lonely and weak, I've begun to hate myself for being this way, for all my faults. Mom I can't help but feel abandoned, and the worst part is I feel like there is no one I can turn to, not even Natsu, I can't even describe how sad I feel mom, and I don't want the people at Fairy Tail to see me so upset, it would ruin their good times! Anyways I don't know what to do and I miss you, you and dad I wish you could help, I love both, sincerely your daughter Lucy._

Her hands are shaking too hard for her to stuff the letter in the envelope. When she finally does the paper is wrinkled and wet but it's done and she angrily throws it into the box. For a while afterwards she just stands there quietly releasing her pent up emotions, she can't do this at any other time but now so she does.

After her shaking resided a little she walked to the bathroom, undressed, and bathed. Once she exited she noticed it was growing darker so she decided to sleep earlier tonight, she needed to go to the guild tomorrow or else Mira might worry and do something stupid like send Natsu over.

At that thought her cheek grew a very light shade of pink before she fell into the darkness of sleep.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

She woke up to a slightly darkened room with rays of sunlight peeking in through the cracks of her curtain. She turned her head to the side and saw that her bed was empty aside from her. This made her feel even lonelier, _"oh that's right I locked the window last night" _she chuckled sadly to herself and proceeded to exit bed and get ready for the day.

Once she arrived at the guild she walked straight to the bar and sat at her normal seat, Mira looked surprised to see her, which confused Lucy but she kept smiling.

"Hey Mira what's up?" she asked as said bartender handed Lucy her normal drink, "Nothing much Lucy, but I'm surprised you're not with Natsu , Erza, and Gray" at her words Lucy could have sworn she froze up eyes snapping up to Mira, "what do you mean?" her voice tried successfully hard to remain unfazed, "Well they took up a mission and left about half an hour ago" she said with her eye brows scrunched up in confusion.

Lucy just smiled kindly at her, "oh well they probably were in a rush, or knew it would be too hard for me" she said it so simply almost like it was nothing too her, but on the inside the thick barrier she built up for the public eye wavered and she could feel a crack begin to form, "maybe I'll take a mission on for myself" she chirped before hopping off the stool and walking towards the requests board.

Again Mira felt something was off with the blonde celestial spirit mage.

Lucy just kept walking until she heard a group of three talking; it was Freed, Bixlow, and Evergreen. She looked over at the group and noticed Evergreen looked too sad for her liking so she listened to the conversation being held.

"Come one Ever don't be like that, I thought you didn't like the dude!" "like the dude, like the dude!" Bixlow said with his babies chanting after him, "Indeed Evergreen, it seems that the lack of attention from Elfman has your actions disproving your words" added Freed. But Evergreen seemed to finally come out with her feelings for the transformation mage, "I lied, I-I really do like him, but I guess I was wrong about his feelings for me" she seemed to deflate more as she leaned onto the table, unshed tears in her eyes.

Lucy would not stand for this, she knows what the poor woman was feeling and she hated that someone else was feeling this way, not if she can help it! She marched straight across the bar to Elfman grabbing his ear and pulling him to Mira, "H-hey! A real man does not get pulled like this by a woman!" Lucy looked at Mira then back to Elfman before quietly saying, "Go talk to Evergreen" this seemed to surprise both Mira and Elfman, "Why?" "Because she misses you idiot, because you and her are great together, and" Lucy gave him a soft smile, "Because you not being with her makes her sad" Elfman looked up at the blonde before jumping out of his seat and walking over to her table. Lucy couldn't hear the conversation, but she saw Evergreen's surprised face looking up at Elfman before he pulled her off to go on a job, her laughing the whole way.

Lucy sighed before yet again trying to make her way to the request board.

She felt like she just kept getting worse and worse, but helping Evergreen and Elfman gave her just a little hope.

She scanned over the board reading each request until she found one that was suitable enough.

_Three dark mages have been terrorizing our small village and robbing our people, we need someone to come capture them and remove them from our area please we will pay you 300,000j_

"Hmm" her thoughtful face worried Wendy who saw the request she took, "Lucy are you sure about that one?" she piped up her thoughts, she didn't know that her words hit the poor blonde where it hurt, seemingly unfazed by the statement though she answered, "Yeah, it seems like a challenge, but don't worry I'll be fine" before walking over to Mira and Handing her the request.

Mira gave Lucy the same worried face as she walked out of the guild ready to go on her mission.

XxXxXxXxXx

Lucy was gone for three days before she came back.

She was walking down the road wanting to go home; she had a fairly bad wound on her side that she needed to fix. She refused to go to Wendy because she hated the thought of coming home so injured on one of her first solo missions.

But before she could reach home a very excited Romeo ran up to her throwing his arms around her and squeezing her tight in a loving hug. However this only squeezed more blood from her badly bandaged wound and she had to hold in her cry of pain.

"Lucy! I'm glad someone I can talk to is back!" Lucy tried her best to plaster a convincing smile on, "yup I'm back, but I really want to go home, can we talk later Romeo?"

But Romeo wasn't having it, he grabbed her arm and pulled her all the way to the guild, this was bad very bad, the dragon slayers would be able to smell the blood on her.

"Gajeel, Levy, and Wendy all went on a mission and Team Natsu isn't back yet, so I haven't had anyone to talk to and I really need your advice!" they finally arrived at the guild and Lucy couldn't help but feel relieved that none of the dragon slayers were there.

She slightly winced as the pain in her side was increasing, "Ok then Romeo what do you need?" her smile barely faltering, "I need advice on how to get Wendy!" She chuckled at his adorable problem.

XxXxXxXxXx

After helping Romeo it seemed she kept getting pulled aside and talked to, asked for advice, complained to, etc. but her wound had just opened up more and she could feel new blood leaking out, it was a miracle nothing had leaked soaked through her shirt.

She wanted to cry when Mira called her over again and began talking about her mission, surprisingly it was the first time that night anyone had asked.

But in the middle of talking the doors flew open and a loud, "We're back!" was heard, it was team Natsu's return. Lucy visibly flinched before getting up and saying goodbye to Mira who yet again noticed something wrong with Lucy.

She had to forcibly stop herself from bolting out of the guild, but before she made it to the large doors she saw Natsu go straight to Lisanna and hug her talking about there "awesome mission" she felt another crack get pierced into the thick walls around her feelings.

She couldn't believe it can't she get a break, she was now physically hurting and emotionally hurting to an extreme, she finally turned and finished walking to the doors to go home.

She wanted to cry and scream and punch walls but she didn't have the energy, she had been losing blood slowly from her wound, she felt dizzy very dizzy. She felt her legs give out, but she passed out before she hit the ground.

When she woke up, her side didn't hurt as much and she was in her bed with the lights on, she had a pounding headache though. She let out a soft groan as she sat up. "Can you tell me what the hell that was?" a familiar voice said, but not the right familiar voice. She looked over to see Gray sitting on her couch giving her a stern look. She groaned again still feeling drowsy, "Why the hell were you hanging out at the guild with a wound like that? You're lucky Juvia and I saw you and were able to get you here!" she couldn't believe it, people saw her pass out; she was too weak to even make it home. She had reached her limit for the night she burst.

Angry tears dropped from her face and she forgot that there were two other people in her home to see one of her many breakdowns. She gave an angry grunt before punching the wall next to her bed. She can't get the words out of her head that haunt her every day.

And then she breaks down sobs shake her body, she brings her knees up to her chest and then places her head between her knees. She can't stop once she starts down this long road, she doesn't register anything that's happening outside her mind. She doesn't register when Juvia enters the room, she doesn't register someone talking to her or the hands trying to calm her down, she doesn't even register when Gray says, "stay here with her! I need to go get Natsu!" all she can do is stay frozen in place as her smile melts and her walls crumble, her lies have finally come out but she can only focus on the pain she feels in her heart.

Juvia sits on the bed holding Lucy as she cries and is surprised when she starts hearing Lucy mumble understandable words, "weak, worthless lonely, nothing, sorry sorry sorry" it's quiet but the whimper is heard by Juvia who holds her tighter.

"Juvia is sorry for disliking love rival, I understand now you don't love Gray-sama, but you need to love someone Lucy like Juvia loves someone, we are here for you Lucy, you are not alone!"

XxXxXxXxXx

Gray sprinted to the guild, what was wrong with Lucy? Had she always been like this, have they not noticed, he thinks back and realizes something, "She didn't want people to see, that's why she locked the window" he said to himself, but she seemed so happy, she gladly helped him and Juvia get together and he thinks that she even nudged Gajeel towards Levy. She seemed so kind, happy, and just overall cheerful to everyone. Mira even told him that she hadn't reacted to badly when she found out they had left without her on a mission, to be honest they kind of all forgot to get her they just rushed out.

"I don't think that helped at all, she's just been faking it this whole time, no one thought to ask her if everything was alright, shit this isn't good"

With that he picked up his pace before finally reaching the guild. When he hit the front doors he just threw them open and ran full speed to Natsu.

Said fire mage was still talking to Lisanna and Happy.

It already took him way too long to arrive so he had no time to waist, reaching Natsu he grabbed his scarf and yanked him up, "come on flame-head, you need to come with me to Lucy's house" but Lisanna piped up before Natsu could, "no Natsu don't go yet" she said clinging on to his arm, "stay and finish that story, I hardly see you anymore, your always on missions" she said with a silly pout, "come on Natsu, Lucy needs you she's having problems" at this Natsu expression grew serious, "Okay then, sorry Lisanna this could be important" and with that the two men ran out of the guild.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

Lucy didn't know how long she sat there crying with Juvia, but she was beyond embarrassed, crying like this in front of not only Gray and Juvia, but soon Natsu would be there to witness her idiotic crying. She was lost in her mind for too long, finally she started coming back from her mental breakdown.

Juvia was worried, beyond worried, she had never seen the blonde looking so small, and she hoped Gray returned soon with Natsu. As soon as she heard the blonde start to calm down she began talking.

"Lucy? Juvia doesn't really know or understand what happened, but she is here to support you, please talk" Lucy was mortified, but she slowly, but surly looked up at the woman holding her.

Regaining a shred of dignity she attempted to smile, it was a pathetic attempt.

She sighed, "Juvia, I-I just hate to be like this in front of people, I can't help but ask you to leave me alone"

"Juvia does not believe you are weak, nor does she see you as a love rival anymore" at her words her poor attempt of rebuilding her walls broke again as the tears came back.

She started falling again, being in front of her friends, looking so weak.

She was stuck in a dark hole, she never asked for help, no one pulled her out when they still could, all she did was keep people from falling in the same hole.

Soon after the girl started crying again the door swung open and two men walked in.

"Lucy!" Natsu ran to her side as Juvia stood up and turned to Gray, "Gray-sama, please stay with Lucy while Juvia speaks with Natsu" Natsu was reluctant to leave Lucy's side but he needed to know what was wrong.

The two left the room and Juvia informed him on what she had heard from Lucy.

Lucy was fed-up and annoyed with herself as of now, she was left a disgusting pile of tears, she wasn't going to stay here and be even more humiliated then she already was, so when Gray turned around to look towards the kitchen Lucy quietly stood up and bolted out of her Apartment and into the cold night.

XxXxXxXxXx

Natsu couldn't believe what he was told, why hadn't he notice his best friend fall into a state of depression? Was he really that oblivious to her, he-he wasn't he couldn't be, _I'm such a dumbass _he thought.

But before he could let his rant of self-hate continue Gray ran in, "Lucy ran out, I didn't see her go"

"Gray you dumbass! Can't you do anything right?!" Natsu went to run out of the apartment too but was stop by a cold hand, "yeah-yeah you can criticize me later, but she knocked over that box full of letters on her way out and one on the top looked different, so I opened it and I think you should read it" the ice-make mage handed him a crinkled open letter that smelt of dried tears. So he opened it and read the depressing article.

_Dear Mama, I don't want to feel this way anymore, I know since I last wrote to you it's been a while but I've gotten so much worse since then. I feel so lonely and weak, just so useless. I know that my nakama at the guild would never see me that way, but everyone on the outside see me as the weak one holding them back. Ever since papa died I can't help but just feel so lonely and weak, I've begun to hate myself for being this way, for all my faults. Mom I can't help but feel abandoned, and the worst part is I feel like there is no one I can turn to, not even Natsu, I can't even describe how sad I feel mom, and I don't want the people at Fairy Tail to see me so upset, it would ruin their good times! Anyways I don't know what to do and I miss you, you and dad I wish you could help, I love both, sincerely your daughter Lucy._

XxXxXxXxXx

Lucy was tired and cold, she had already run out of tears and now she sat under a large tree at the border of Magnolia forest. Her eyes stung and her injured side burned, she felt it reopen while she was running away.

She let out a humorless laugh, "running away again Lucy, seems to be the only thing you can do?"

"No Luce, you can do so much more" a soft male voice sounds out from somewhere behind her.

She clenches her fist and squeezes her eyes close, "go away Natsu, I don't want anyone else to see me like this" her voice is dry, raspy, and so small; it pains Natsu to hear her voice so utterly broken.

He walks up to her and sits down next to her, "you know Luce, you're not weak, you're not alone, you should have just told me that something was wrong, I'll always be here for you" he takes her hand in his and she actually feels warm, it's been impossible for her to feel warm inside and out, but somehow Natsu has begun warming her just slightly.

"What was I supposed to say? Oh hey Natsu, I feel unreasonably sad, lonely, and weak, I couldn't say that, I just couldn't!" Natsu wanted to say something, he really did, but now that Lucy had started her rant of self-hate she couldn't stop, "I felt pathetic for feeling this way, I hated myself for being jealous and pitiful, and I looked pathetic, so why should I tell anyone and make myself look weaker! Have you heard what people outside the guild have said, I make Team Natsu look bad! I hide behind my spirits and I just don't want to be the burden who always has to be protected anymore, so that's why I didn't blame you guys for leaving me behind on that mission, and I don't blame you for liking Lisanna instead of me, I mean she beautiful and strong and-and I'm vain and weak!" she let out a humorless laugh she had just admitted her hidden feelings for Natsu, but she couldn't care less she had already hit rock bottom in her mind.

"Luce…" Natsu was shocked, how had she kept all these emotions inside, she seemed happy all the time at the guild, "save it Natsu, I-I don't know what I'm going to do, can you just not tell anyone that you saw me this way?" her hand slipped out of his and she began to stand up and walk away, but his hand shot out again grabbing her wrist and pulling her down so he could hold her tightly afraid that if she walked away, she would have no hope of escaping this dark pit she's in.

"You. Are. Not. Weak." He practically growled, "You are the strongest celestial mage I have ever seen, you have such a wonderfully huge heart that others shrink in comparison! You're beautiful and have a right to act at least a little vain, and who cares what people outside the guild say, and if I ever hear people say such things about you, I would burn them to a crisp!" he pulled back slightly so that their foreheads were touching and gave her a soft smile, "and who said I chose Lisanna over you?" she was gripping his vest tightly, "Natsu?" she couldn't say anything else because Natsu had bent his head down and kissed her.

It wasn't deep or passionate; it was soft, gentle, chaste, but full of love.

"I'll help you get out of this, we'll do this together okay?" she couldn't believe what Natsu was saying, it was such an unseen side of him, but she liked it.

He held her closer to him, not wanting to let her go, "I love you Lucy, and I'll do anything and everything in my power to help you see that you aren't weak" he said sternly but with a slight tint of pink shading his cheeks.

She just smiled back as a tear slid down her face, "I love you too Natsu"

~~~~END~~~~


End file.
